Making a list, checking it twice ...
by Lou Bendrick
1. On some crisp, gray December evening, when the sky is heavy with the promise of snow, you'll get a whiff of piñon smoke.
2. This will remind you that you haven't ordered firewood.
3. Speaking of fires, if you place the farolitos too close together and it's windy, there will be trouble.
4. And fire trucks.
5. So don't make that mistake again this year.
6. You might want to keep track of how many little plastic cups of wine you drink at the art galleries this season.
7. And remember, those fancy lizard skin cowboy boots and snow-slick roads are a bad combination.
8. That tailbone did heal up nicely, though.
9. It will probably come to your attention that many of your friends not only have completed their Christmas shopping but they also sent out their holiday cards weeks ago.
10. Well, isn't that special.
11. It's still not too late for you to get the perfect tree.
12. Don't forget to count the rings and give it plenty of water. Santa Fe is, after all, a desert.
13. What the hell: Get some of those chile pepper lights. And maybe some of those little twinkly white lights for the ristras.
14. Speaking of chile, it's time to start thinking about Christmas dinner. How about smoked turkey enchiladas? Turkey mole? Chile rubbed salmon or steak? Hmmm, maybe some green chile mashed potatoes and posole, too.
15. For God's sake, don't touch your eyeball or pick your nose while handling roast chiles.
16. Make some bizcochitos and serve them with Mexican hot chocolate.
17. Use Abuelita brand chocolate and whole milk.
18. At some point, rosy-faced children may come a-caroling to your front door.
19. Don't be grinch. Croon along to "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" and fork over some bizcochitos.
20. Speaking of singing, you need Desert Chorale tickets.
21. At some point you might be hit by holiday blues. You'll want to slump in your favorite chair, sip some single malt scotch and ponder the following: Is world peace possible? Have you contributed to the poisonous commercialism of Christmas? How did your friends find the time to write out all those Christmas cards? What the hell is figgy pudding? What are those hard, day-glo things in fruit cake? Are they related to Ju Ju Bees?
22. There are many cures for the holiday blues. This list includes, but is not limited to, the following: Saint John's Wort, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, two hours at Ten Thousand Waves, Ella Fitzgerald singing "Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney," ten days in the Maldives, rosy-faced children a-caroling, a quiet moment at the St. Francis Cathedral, and adopting a dog from the Santa Fe Animal Shelter & Humane Society.
23. Consider the little black and white lab mix with the sad eyes whose number is up.
24. The scruffy little fella is going to need some exercise, and with all those bizcochitos you've eating, you should really get moving.
25. A hike up to the Pecos would be nice.
26. This year, however, it would be a good idea to bring the snowshoes.
27. Not like last year, when you tried it in your lizard skin cowboy boots.
28. And met all those nice search-and-rescue folks.
29. When Christmas morning dawns, plug in the electric farolitos, walk the dog, water the thirsty little tree, rustle around for the last of the bizcochitos to go with the coffee and make everyone a big plate of huevos rancheros.
30. Serve them Christmas style.
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